Crunching My Facebook Numbers

April 21, 2015
Day 356

It took me a long time to prepare today's blog, because I had to do a lot of counting.

First I counted how many family members I was connected to on Facebook (35), and thought how surprisingly low that number was.  Then I counted the number of people I've met through work, past and present (38), and that number made sense.  Next I counted how many people I was friends with through Billy Elliot (86), which I'd always suspected was a high number, and it really is, especially considering I've got "only" 335 Facebook friends.

After all that, I counted how many people I've known since high school or before, and was only slightly surprised to see the number was so low (12).  The number of people I've known since college or just afterward, basically from the age of 18 to 24, was even lower (7), but that makes more sense, because that was the time I was in the religious life, and many of my friends just after that time either disowned me or we just mutually lost touch.

The number of people I'm connected to on Facebook who I met through Andy is pretty low (9), but the number of people I'm connected to because of the Long Island GLBT community is high (30).

Finally, after crunching all of those numbers, I did two more searches through my friends list... 

Of my 335 Facebook friends, there are only 25 I've not yet met in person.  (That says a lot about how closed I've traditionally kept my Facebook, even though so many of my posts are public now.) 

And of my 335 Facebook friends, 59 of them I met online before I met them in person.  Some were guys I met for dates who later became friends, some were Billy Elliot fan friends I knew online before meeting in person, some were Long Island GLBT community people, and one was Andy.

Whew!  These numbers aren't exact in every case, I'd bet, because I moved fairly quickly through my list each time I made a new count, but they're pretty close.  It's a good list for me to have, and I suspect a very helpful list to look back on years from now too.

So many places and perspectives

February 7, 2015
Day 283

I spent the day yesterday sightseeing around Manhattan.  There's so much to see, of course, so we didn't cover all that much considering, but I think we managed to do quite a lot.

We first walked over to the Empire State Building, then the Manhattan Mall, then Times Square, then Rockefeller Center and what's called the Top of the Rock experience (top of Rockefeller Center with views all around Manhattan and beyond).  After that, we visited St. Patrick's Cathedral, and then did a tour of Radio City Music Hall, where we even met a Rockette.  From there, we walked to Grand Central Station, followed by a subway trip all the way downtown.  We made a short stop to see the Statue of Liberty from Battery Park, then walked over to Ground Zero to pay our respects at the footprints of the twin towers.

It was a long day, a very full day, and though my feet and legs were both tired and frozen by the end of it all, I felt very happy to have accomplished so much!

As to the last stop, the World Trade Center site, it was an important one for me for multiple reasons, not least of which was the visit itself.  On September 11, 2001, I watched smoke and flames pour out of both towers from the 29th floor of my office building on 42nd Street.  It wasn't until last night though, February 6, 2015, that I finally got myself down there to visit the site.  I wasn't purposely avoiding it, but I do confess I was reluctant to go.  The place they've created there can be described as nothing less than sacred, as it should be.  It is sacred ground, and always will be, and I was in awe at how beautifully they've honored the souls who perished on that fateful day.

Today we've got two Broadway shows ahead of us: Matilda for the matinee, and Les Mis at night.  It'll be a very different day, and much less busy, but a very exciting one too.  I haven't seen either of these productions yet, but did see the original Les Mis many years ago when I was still young.  It was my first Broadway show ever, at New York's Imperial Theatre.  In the years since, I ended up seeing a show called Billy Elliot The Musical there many, many times, and this will now bring me full circle with my Broadway experiences.

Lots of thoughts going through my head because of yesterday's visits.  Memories of Les Mis many years ago, memories of the last time I toured Radio City Music Hall with my fellow monks from the monastery, memories of the last time I saw the towers standing, memories of Billy Elliot at the Imperial, and even memories of my first time at the Top of the Rock with my friend Christian.  It's all giving me pause in many different ways, and beyond that, it's also giving me, once again, perspective.  From high up in the air above Manhattan to a look down into the footprints of the twin towers, I had different perspectives quite literally, and as I think on all the past experiences mirrored in this weekend's activities, I pause and reflect on the perspective of this moment right here.  Life is short but beautiful, and looking backward before looking ahead helps me see better all the time.

A weekend filled with art

November 18, 2014
Day 202

This past weekend, Andy and I traveled down to Maryland, Washington, D.C., and Virginia to visit with friends and family in the area.  In Maryland we stayed with my dear friend Cherri, her son, and his partner.  They've put me up on numerous occasions, and had to put up with me as well, so I'm very, very grateful for their kindness!

While there, Andy and I drove to Arlington, Virginia (Aurora Highlands) to visit with his Great Uncle Nilo, a renowned Filipino artist with hundreds of beautiful pieces to his name, many of which have been featured in galleries and exhibits around the world.  Two of his designs were even featured on UNICEF cards, and some of his murals hang in the Pentagon as well as in various Air Force bases.

Nilo Santiago's website features many of his beautiful works for sale, so check them out!  Andy and I ended up buying four pieces from him, and we're ecstatic to soon have them hanging in our home on Long Island!

Walking through Nilo's home felt like we were strolling through a museum in places, because his art is very nicely displayed in every room of the home, and since his style varies greatly from work to work, there are numerous paintings and pieces guaranteed to attract any collector's eye.

Dinner at The Cheesecake Factory courtesy of Cherri!

On Saturday, our plan was to surprise my friends Cherri and Maria for a screening of Billy Elliot The Musical Live, the brand new movie version of the stage show, filmed recently in London.  I had to tell a couple of small white lies about my schedule to pull off the surprise, but it all worked fabulously, as she was shocked to see us in the movie theater's lobby.

The show itself--I almost hesitate to call it a movie because you really feel like you're in the audience of a live event--was absolutely breathtaking and fantastic!  Even though I've seen the stage show in London, on Broadway, and in multiple incarnations around the country, seeing it this way was truly a first for me.  Something like 12 cameras captured the show from all kinds of cool angles, providing a unique new perspective.  And of course seeing the show again with Cherri and Maria made it that much more special!  We'd met for the first time at dinner before the First Preview of the Broadway show back in 2008, and have been great friends ever since.

So it was a weekend filled with art!  From Billy Elliot The Musical to Nilo Santiago's incredibly expressive artwork, we were truly blessed from start to finish.  Add in some really delicious meals and wonderful company, and man did we have an awesome time!  Life is good!

My Billy Elliot Obsession

August 18, 2014
Day 110

I can't really explain it.  That's where to begin this reflection...with a line from the show.  When in doubt, quote Billy himself.  The scene it comes from arrives late in the stage musical, when Billy is asked what it feels like when he's dancing.  His love of dance is indescribable, no matter how many words he's able to piece together to explain himself.  And at some point, he can't even keep describing it.  He has to just burst forth in dance to show his questioners what he means!

Well, rest assured, I am not attaching a video of me dancing!  It just isn't my preferred art form, and it's definitely not a skill I possess.

But when you ask me why I've seen this show so many times, I will find myself circling through phrases just as Billy does, rattling off anything I can think of to help you understand.  And for me, those phrases would include: teaches you to just be yourself, to believe in yourself, to not listen to the establishment, to scream out against injustice and discrimination...helps you see things differently and appreciate the differences in people, helps you smile more at the silliness of life, and cry more at the awful goodbyes we all go through...guides you to live more, laugh more, and chase your dreams however you must in order to achieve them. 

I've seen the movie dozens of times, and I've experienced the stage musical 56 times worldwide (London, Broadway, and many cities up and down the east coast on tour).  The musical has so much to offer so many people, but for me, the story is also familiar. 

My dad was an old-school, Irish-born lower-middle class guy with a very strong work ethic, a love of drinking and smoking, and a penchant for anger.  He also carried a heavy heart over the loss of his first wife when his kids were still very young.  Though I had a best friend named Michael growing up, it was always me who was the poof, so to speak, and it was very difficult for me to fit in with my peers.  My mom was my friend and my greatest supporter, and though I still speak to her often, I lost a great light in my life when she died.  I'm no dancer, but my hopes for a successful career as a writer are still propelling me forward all the time.  (You can support the arts by buying my books!)  There are plenty of differences between my life's story and Billy's, but the movie and subsequent stage production have enough similarities to make me feel very much at home. 

But why do I obsess so much about a story like this one?  Because beyond all the similarities, there's a killer script by Lee Hall.  I admire his language and storytelling so much, and I'm constantly amazed and inspired by his ability to make me laugh, then cry, then laugh, then cry, over and over again throughout the show (and the film).  That kind of emotional roller coaster effect is far from easy to produce, and it's certainly helped by the amazing actors who I've seen in the stage musical over the years.

And when it comes to amazing, this show has it all, not least of which because the boy who plays Billy has to convince us from the beginning that he has some basic skills, but no training at all, and by the end, he has to have shown us how much hidden talent he had inside him, ready to burst forth for all the world to see.

Billy Elliot The Musical is no longer on Broadway, and the Tours are done now too, although there are some incredible regional productions popping up here and there.  Most of you who read this won't be able to go see the show anytime soon, but some of you will (Londoners and Europeans all over have a lot to celebrate still!), so none of what I write here is to convince you to go see the show right away.  It's just to help you understand some of the many reasons I kept going back time and time again to witness its magic live. 

The musical is gone from the New York scene for a while now, but the movie is still available.  Check it out when you get a chance, or watch it again if it's been a while.  I think you'll see why so many people have seen it worldwide, and why the subsequent musical won as many Tony Awards and other prizes as it did.  It's an inspiring story about possibility, willpower, and promise, and it's guaranteed to have you flying with joy by the time it's over!

Stage Musical Commercial
Original Movie Trailer