Play Nice!

April 11, 2015
Day 346

We tell little children all the time, "Play nice now," when they seem to be acting up, stealing each other's toys, or otherwise causing mischief.  So why do we keep our mouths shut so much when we see adults doing this?

The answer we tell ourselves is always the same: because they're adults, and we need to let them learn for themselves.  But don't you ever stop and think to yourself, How did that guy never learn that lesson, that you just don't say those kinds of things, or act that way in public?  Who let her get this way?  Who raised him?

I could give you a few dozen examples of times I soured the mood by asking an obvious question like this directly to people with others present, but gratefully, most of those times weren't too overt or loud on my part...most of them.  But I do think we could all be teachers and mentors, and even psychotherapists, more than we are.  Yeah, I know, it's inappropriate to tell someone else how to live their lives, but if there's an opportunity for a teachable moment, I believe you should rise to the occasion in as kind and graceful a manner as you can, and be that teacher in that moment.  It could just be a funny "play nice now" to a stranger or friend, but you never know when a few words of advice spoken gently can change a person's life forever.

Embracing My Inner Teacher

April 9, 2015  Day 344

After today, I've got just three weeks left until I hit the big 4-0.  Noticing my time on this blog was running out, I reminded Andy last night that he still hasn't given me his "guest entry" I'd asked him for at least twice before.  I know it's my 40th year, and my blog, but I just thought it'd be really sweet of me to surrender 1/365th of myself to my life partner.

I also just went through my first three months of blog entries here to get an idea of what I've told you over the course of this year.  Overall, I'm happy with it.  I definitely wrote longer posts in those first two months especially, and I saw that on Day 50 I finally realized I should write them a tad shorter.

But what surprised me the most was how much more I talked about turning 40 in those first two months after turning 39.  It was like I was obsessed.  Now though?  Not so much.  Now it's more of a big day waiting for me just ahead, followed by many more days of not caring too much.  I'm 99% certain I don't look my age yet, and 100% certain I don't feel my age yet either.  I suppose I do know I'm 39 pushing 40 now, but I'm willing to own that. 

I worked hard to reach this point in my life, when I'm the teacher more often than I'm the student, and that's good!  Bring it on!  I may never be a parent, but I like the idea of standing in front of the room directing the class, instead of sitting quietly behind one of the desks.  To that goal, I'm happy to announce that I'll once again be guest speaking at Nassau Community College next week, discussing my writing process with students seeking to improve their reading and writing skills.  I'm grateful for the opportunity once again, and grateful to take ownership of my role as a teacher.

Guest Speaker

October 2, 2014
Day 155

Last night, I had a unique opportunity to do something I've never done before, something I already want to do again soon.  I was a guest speaker at two classes at Nassau Community College here on Long Island.

The college is walking distance from my job, as I was just there yesterday afternoon for lunch with my sister Laurie, who works on campus, but the building I was to speak in was a little further away, so she helped me get a parking pass for my car.  Thank you, Laurie!

I was a bit nervous at the start of the first class, unsure how to get the ball rolling, but the more I spoke and the longer the evening went, the more fun it became.  The students (I hesitate to call them kids because they were all very mature and friendly) asked me tons of amazing questions, so many of which I'd never been asked before.

In the days leading up to the classes, I compiled a couple of pages of notes, and I brought my two published books, plus the 30 or so pages of notes for the third book with me too.  It was really cool sharing with them the process I go through when writing, and talking about character names, scene locations, and plots, specifically the choices I made and make before I write down anything at all.  I think I surprised them when I shared how much I enjoy being surprised by my own words and revelations.  I don't even know how a book will end when I start it, and for me, that's part of the fun!

Fun.  That was the word my friend Bill, who invited me there to speak, pointed out to me.  He said I was talking a lot about how fun it was to write.  In the second class, near the end of my talk, someone asked me that exact question: "Why do you write?"  I told him I could rattle off five or six great reasons, but we'd already uncovered a particular word in the class I'd just spoken with.  Fun.  I write for fun.  No one's making me do this, and God knows I haven't made any real money from it (a few hundred dollars is hardly worth working years to get), but it sure is fun!

So last night was pretty damn good, I have to say, and I really hope to have this kind of event again soon.  A book reading or discussion group would work, or other classes like last night's.  I'm not sure.  I just know that having all these people looking to me and waiting to hear what I had to tell them?  It felt great!  And the people I spoke with last night were so incredible too.  Their every glance my way showed me how caring they were, both of their own building skills as readers and writers, but caring as human beings too.  They offered me their full attention, and by doing so, they showed me they cared about what I wanted to share with them.

I was a bit nervous going into this, having not spoken to a class for a long time, but by the time the night was over, I wanted 10 more classes to talk to right afterward.  It was a completely wonderful, enlightening, all-around awesome experience speaking to some really great people, and I hope to do it again very soon!

My life as a teacher

October 1, 2014
Day 154

This evening, I have a wonderful opportunity to speak to two different classes at Nassau Community College here on Long Island.  Specifically, I'll be talking with them about my writing, and how I formulate plots, scenes, twists, and characters in my stories. 

My good friend Bill teaches these classes on reading comprehension, and he helps young men and women who are trying to improve their skills as readers and writers, to help them succeed more in college, as well as the workplace.

So...I'll basically show them what it's like fashioning a story or stories as a writer, so that when they go back to their reading, they'll have a greater appreciation (I hope) for what kind of hard work the author put into it to reach the end product. 

I've never done this kind of thing before, but I have been a teacher before.

As a junior and senior in high school, I taught religious education classes to 4th graders at a local school every Wednesday.  The curriculum included the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, and...well, a lot more that's now escaped me!  And it was fun!  I came up with lots of interesting techniques and memorization tricks to teach them, like drawing a heart on the chalkboard with eyes in the middle (Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God).

There's something to be said for how much I enjoy teaching through my writing too.  While some of my friends may quietly think I preach too much, I do see myself as a teacher in many ways.  I enjoy reflecting on various topics in my daily blogs here, and my books are a tremendous opportunity for me to tap into major issues, and really big ideas.

So tonight, I get to address two classes of students who are forced to listen to me!  (Insert evil laugh here.)  Honestly, I expect to learn as much from them as they do from me.  I hope to hear what kind of things they expect and enjoy when reading a book, and I'll listen very carefully to all of their comments and opinions.  I fully expect to have an absolutely awesome time with it, too!  : )

Stay tuned.  I'll update you tomorrow on how it all went!

Don't forget the guh

July 14, 2014
          Day 75

It was just one of those teachable moments my family didn't see coming.  First came the sneeze.  Then came the response.  And then came the lesson.

So here's what happened.  Someone sneezed, and someone else said, "Bless you".  My young niece heard this, and corrected the person quickly by saying, "You forgot the guh".  It took people a moment to realize what she meant by this.  The guh?  I forgot the guh?  But then they realized.  She thought the correct response to a sneeze was the phrase, "Guh bless you".  That's what she thought was being said, and for good reason, because it had now morphed into this. 

The creator of Heaven and Earth, the Father, the Mother, the Master and Commander of the universe, this being beyond definition who we usually refer to as God, was apparently now known as simply guh.  It had happened without anyone realizing it, and certainly without anyone intending it. 

When someone sneezed, the youngest member of our family believed, you should respond by saying, "Guh bless you". 

Now I wouldn't exactly call my family a bunch of holy rollers, but we do very much believe in God and Heaven.  So yes, hearing our littlest one say we forgot the guh was a bit of a wake-up call!  I'm sure more than anything else, it was just funny, but it also reminded everyone about the importance of pronunciation around a toddler, too!   

And therein lies the lesson.  Maybe you'll use this example as a reminder for spirituality, or perhaps just a reminder of the importance of proper pronunciation, but it's a true story, and one I thought you'd like.  It's certainly a story I've thought of often over the years.  So please watch how you say things around children, and most importantly, don't forget the guh!