Last night, I found myself in one of those time portals only guys like me in their first of many mid-life crises goes through. We were listening to older music (like from way back in the 80s), and I began fearing judgment from my younger guests. "Quick," I whispered, "Put something new on!" We quickly moved onto some Miley and Macklemore, so I breathed a little easier.
It's just one of those rites of passage all humans seem to go through, so I don't hate it too much, but at some point, you crave "your" music more than "their" music, the music of today. And yet, that isn't my real problem. I like all kinds of music...even though I'm admittedly trapped in the 80s for the rest of my life.
My real problem, though, is that I don't even know who's singing half the time, and can't sing along! I will immediately start moving with the music when it's a familiar tune, and I have many, many favorite songs like this, but I can't recite the lyrics like everyone else. I can't even tell you if it's Pink, Blondie, or K, E, dollar sign ha. "What year did this song come out?" "I don't know, sometime between 1980 and today. Hope that helps?"
In school, especially high school, I felt like such an idiot for not knowing the kinds of facts all my friends seemed to pull from a part of their brain I didn't seem to have. If someone asked what year a song was released, I'd stare at them perplexed, like I was working on it, thinking, remembering, and then when they guessed some random year, I'd start agreeing quickly, "Yeah, I think that's right." Of course there was no chance I could remember the lyric, the singer, or the year, because that information never, ever went into my brain in the first place!
So most of my adult life, including last night, I've just been resigned to admit I am a complete idiot when it comes to these things. I hope, when my true moron nature is revealed in moments like that, my friends will remember I do have some talents in other fields. I pray they see me not just for the gigantic mass of brainless human I am, but instead remember that somewhere inside my head, other brain cells have just focused on other things.
I do love 80s music, and I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit it, especially so-called Alternative 80s music like The Smiths and The Cure. So judge me all you like, and call me an irrelevant old guy, but I'll stay happily trapped in the euphoria of a bygone age probably forever. It's just where I feel most at peace, and most at home.
Sing to me, Morrissey. Wish me an unhappy birthday, because I'm evil and I lie. Yeah, man. Nice.
You sure fooled me!
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