Day 108
I have two lifelong friends who have sadly also been lifelong enemies. I'll occasionally invite them to live with me for a while, but they always wreak havoc, and I'm always left regretting the decision to invite them in at all.
Right now, Butter is allowed in my house only on a count of his brother. I'd been hanging out with Crock for years, but realized as sweet as he seemed, he was slowly causing me lots of emotional pain, and even weight gain. So I told him recently to just leave and never come back, and then invited Butter to move back in. Butter has a saltier sense of humor, and hasn't exactly been helping me in my weight loss efforts either, but he's easy to get along with, so I keep him around. He sure knows how to butter me up though. Manipulative bastard!
And my other on-again, off-again frienemy is Mayo. Ugh! Where do I start? This guy is so much fun to hang out with, and every time I eat with him, he makes me feel so good. But then after a little while, I feel terrible. I feel bloated and upset, and I realize that once again, he's hurt me. Mayo is one of those friends who's a total enabler. (I think he might even be a feeder!) He just sits there and tells me how good he'll be before I even start eating, but by the time I'm done, he still looks great but I feel awful. What an idiot! The last time he visited, I almost threw him out, yelling, "I hate you! Just stop giving me so much hell, man!"
Mayo isn't allowed in my house, but when I do invite him in, he's gone in three or four days anyway. Occasionally, I even hang out with both Butter and Mayo at the same time. They get along well when I don't overdo it, but the results are always sickening.
I've mostly given up Mayo now in my house, but Butter is still allowed to stay. All things in moderation, I guess, and as long as I spread out my time with him, our friendship will be okay. Last night, I told Butter a story that made him melt; it was so sweet watching how much it affected him. But I have to admit, even when he's soft with me, I still keep the knife close by.
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