The thin line between sorrow and joy

August 13, 2014
             Day 105

I had another reflection planned for today, but too much is going on right now for me to be as light as I was hoping to be.

Last night, I was filled with joy standing on line to see Newsies on Broadway, when a few feet away from me, I spotted someone who had just lost a very dear friend to suicide.  The someone was Harvey Fierstein, and the friend, of course, was Robin Williams.  Harvey looked very sad and out of it, not the joy-filled version of himself I've come to know on video, and when I've seen him around New York before, and my heart immediately ached for his own aching heart.  All the joy I'd been feeling seemed to evaporate immediately.

By the time we got into the theatre, the excitement of the evening returned, and we had an absolutely wonderful time at the show.  My friend Michael was with me, and we had some fun stage-door adventures after the show too, including my opportunity to introduce Michael to one of the cast of Newsies, Giuseppe Bausilio.  Overall, it was a really nice evening in New York, and as I closed my eyes last night in bed, I felt very happy.

This morning, things changed again.  First, we realized the weather had wreaked havoc all over the island, causing Andy's train to get canceled and requiring me to bring him to another station.  The roads all over Suffolk County are apparently under water, and people have lost their cars in what will certainly be permanent flooding damage.  And then the really bad news came in: Andy's uncle (his mom's brother) is in the hospital in what may be his final hours.  He apparently got terribly sick this past weekend, and was admitted in serious condition.  Emergency surgery revealed some horrible, probably fatal truths about his condition.

How do we do this?  How do we all pivot so often on the joys and sorrows of life, and still manage to stay sane?  Obviously, so many of us do not.  We get depressed or angry, or both, and life's many truths often feel like an insufferable, never-ending tragedy.

I'm not writing this reflection in order to explain how to deal with awful things, or even to convince you to choose joy.  I'm simply recognizing the precarious, delicate line we all walk on every day.  We are faced with joy and sadness constantly, and we never know if they'll hit us at the same time, or in rapid, alternating succession.  We just have to go with the flow, and remember to appreciate every joyful moment while we have it, because all too often, the sad moments are waiting for us right around the corner.  The thin line between joy and sorrow requires us to walk with one foot in either emotion at all times, out of profound respect...for both.