Day 242
(A new short story, rated PG-13)
Dennis knew it wouldn’t go over well. When he first had the idea, he laughed. He knew that were he to do this, no one would ever speak to him again. Not only that, they’d absolutely hate him besides. And that’s exactly what he was counting on.
With each new present Dennis put together, he painstakingly personalized it for the recipient, making certain they understood how much effort he put into the gift. He went on like this all day long and into the night, as his Christmas party with friends was now just hours away. “No rest for the weary,” he muttered on his way back from the bathroom.
Around 2 AM, he was finally done. All the presents were individually wrapped in gorgeous wrapping paper under his tree, not one of them foretelling the incredible surprise waiting inside. Dennis smiled softly, his eyes sparkling with the reflection from his tree, as genuine tears of joy welled up from within him. He’d created something magical, something personal, something truly horrible for each and every one of his so-called friends.
By the time 1 PM arrived, and all his guests were sitting around the beautiful living room sipping cocktails, marveling at the beautiful tree and all the presents below it, Dennis was feeling absolutely electric. He waited for a brief lull in the conversation before ringing a little bell he’d bought for the occasion.
“My friends, it’s time. It’s time for you to open the special gifts I’ve made for each of you.” A coo of loving wonder let out from a few of the women, followed quickly thereafter by a sarcastic “Aww” from some of the men. Dennis smiled as he handed out the presents, warning them all to wait until everyone had their gift before anyone opened them up. Once they were ready though, he rang his little bell again, and watched as they ripped open the wrapping paper to see what was inside.
One by one, each guest’s smile turned quickly to a frown as they lifted a shiny, wet rock from inside. Carefully encircling and tied to each stone was a list of things Dennis hated about the person, a long list of the most hurtful phrases and curses he could think of for each. He noted how the disgust overtook each person in turn, and delighted in seeing the particular horror surface on some faces when they realized the rock had been coated in his own piss.
Once they’d all had their moments of individual hatred and horror, and guests were just starting to grow furious at him, he did it.
With just one quick motion, Dennis tossed a lit match onto his dried out Christmas tree, and watched as they scrambled toward the front door.
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!” he screamed. They were screaming terrible things at him as they grabbed their coats and ran out, but Dennis didn’t hear any of it. He was in a special place in his long-lost brain now. He walked calmly past the burning tree and toward the sofas, where various rocks were left behind. Picking up a few in his arms, he walked out the door and started hurling them at his former friends. They were too far away to reach, but he enjoyed watching them run nonetheless.
As the flames began to rage out of control inside the house, Dennis sat down on his front lawn to watch it. His friends were finally out of his life, Christmas had brought him everything he'd ever dreamed and more, and the fire inside was beautiful.
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