My 80s Fetish

July 8, 2014
        Day 69

The 80s wasn't the decade I really grew up in, as the bulk of my high school and college years were in the 90s, but the 80s were definitely the years in which I was brewed before pouring.

In the 80s, I was between the ages of 4 and 14, so all the music, movies, and hairstyles of the period were more like flashing lightning bolts before me than they were lamps turned on in the corner.  In other words, I was being formed by it all without even realizing it. 

While my older siblings were in high school and college in the 80s, experiencing the 80s in a myriad of ways, I was more often found in front of the TV, witnessing the 80s burst forth and grow in the world outside my door.  Sure, I experienced a lot of it myself, but mostly, it got under my skin.  It was the world as I first started seeing it, and so it became a permanent part of who I still am today.

On a recent episode of GLEE, Blaine insisted they watch a movie made after 1989, and I laughed out loud, because 1989 is my all-time favorite year for films.  I could name a bucket load of favorite movies made in the 80s, but so many of my favorites seemed to have all come out in 1989 (the year I finished 8th grade and started high school).  So hearing this newly minted high school graduate on GLEE whine about how he doesn't want an old 80s movie just makes me laugh.  I understand it though, as if I was always forced to watch movies made before I was born, I'd get annoyed too.

And there's something else about the 80s for which I am very appreciative: they've got staying power more than any other decade in the past fifty years.  It was a major new time period for change, and because of that, the many new technologies, songs, movies, dress styles, and wacky weirdnesses of the period have stuck around.  They may not be experienced the same way as they were back then, but they're still appreciated by a whole lot of people.  We hear 60s and we think of many things.  We hear 70s and we think of several things.  We hear 80s and we think of LOTS of things.  But when a lot of us think of the 90s and 00s, there's just a bit less, and it's cloudier.  Technology's advanced so much so quickly, it makes sense that our distractions have, well, distracted us. 

The 80s had a uniquely powerful grip on the world, and it still hasn't let go.  It's like there's this gigantic Pee-Wee Herman wearing leggings and a Mr. T backpack that's still marching across the planet.  And I'm okay with that.  I may be getting old now, but I like that the 80s is traveling along with me, with every proud step I take...into the future!

My radio station would be W.H.A.T.

May 25, 2014.

Last night, I found myself in one of those time portals only guys like me in their first of many mid-life crises goes through.  We were listening to older music (like from way back in the 80s), and I began fearing judgment from my younger guests.  "Quick," I whispered, "Put something new on!"  We quickly moved onto some Miley and Macklemore, so I breathed a little easier.

It's just one of those rites of passage all humans seem to go through, so I don't hate it too much, but at some point, you crave "your" music more than "their" music, the music of today.  And yet, that isn't my real problem.  I like all kinds of music...even though I'm admittedly trapped in the 80s for the rest of my life.

My real problem, though, is that I don't even know who's singing half the time, and can't sing along!  I will immediately start moving with the music when it's a familiar tune, and I have many, many favorite songs like this, but I can't recite the lyrics like everyone else.  I can't even tell you if it's Pink, Blondie, or K, E, dollar sign ha.  "What year did this song come out?"  "I don't know, sometime between 1980 and today.  Hope that helps?"

In school, especially high school, I felt like such an idiot for not knowing the kinds of facts all my friends seemed to pull from a part of their brain I didn't seem to have.  If someone asked what year a song was released, I'd stare at them perplexed, like I was working on it, thinking, remembering, and then when they guessed some random year, I'd start agreeing quickly, "Yeah, I think that's right."  Of course there was no chance I could remember the lyric, the singer, or the year, because that information never, ever went into my brain in the first place!

So most of my adult life, including last night, I've just been resigned to admit I am a complete idiot when it comes to these things.  I hope, when my true moron nature is revealed in moments like that, my friends will remember I do have some talents in other fields.  I pray they see me not just for the gigantic mass of brainless human I am, but instead remember that somewhere inside my head, other brain cells have just focused on other things.

I do love 80s music, and I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit it, especially so-called Alternative 80s music like The Smiths and The Cure.  So judge me all you like, and call me an irrelevant old guy, but I'll stay happily trapped in the euphoria of a bygone age probably forever.  It's just where I feel most at peace, and most at home.

Sing to me, Morrissey.  Wish me an unhappy birthday, because I'm evil and I lie.  Yeah, man.  Nice.