The smelliest prank

July 29, 2014
          Day 90

It was probably during my junior year of high school.  My friend Brendan and I both worked at the local A&P supermarket in our town, so we'd work whatever shifts we could, weekdays and weekends.

Now I was a fairly good student growing up, but I also found ways to slide by when I could, too.  Some nights when my work shift and my homework got to be too much, I'd plan to get some work done in the school cafeteria the next day before my first class.

The problem here, is that Brendan knew this.  Oh yes, you better believe he knew this.

What exactly did he know?  Well, he knew there was a fairly good chance the book bag I'd brought to work that night after school would not only not get opened during any downtime on my shift, but that I probably wouldn't even open it again until the next morning at school.  And the worst part of all of this?  Brendan and I worked in the fish department at our local A&P.

Starting to see where this is going?

So picture the scene.  8:00 in the morning, 50 to 100 kids eating breakfast, talking loudly, hanging out, studying, and just whatever else.  And then there's me, sitting at a table in the middle of all of this, and planning to finish some homework as quickly as I can before class.  I toss my book bag onto the table, and open it up quickly...and something is wrong.  Something is very, very wrong.

Right on top of my books is a small bag that's giving off a horrible smell.  At this point, I wasn't thinking of my friend, or our job at the supermarket, or anything else.  I was just in a hazy, early-morning shock.  So I open up this barely closed bag (it wasn't tied or anything), and I see this...this face staring back up at me. 

See, in the fish department at A&P, we often had fish heads displayed around the cuts of fish.  The display was always set up very nicely by the department manager.  Lots of ice, some fillets of various types of fish, and here and there, interspersed for a fun decoration, were these fish heads. 

After a few seconds, as I allowed my brain to fully process this dead fish with bulging eyes and sharp teeth staring up at me, I closed the plastic bag it was wrapped in, and then made for the nearest garbage pail as calmly and as quietly as I could, and just prayed that no one else had noticed.  I imagine if they did see what I had in my bag, the story would have probably circulated pretty quickly, and subsequently haunted me for the remainder of high school.  But thankfully, this fish tale is simply relocated here instead.  My friend had pranked me, and pranked me good, and my book bag didn't lose the...well, the aroma for the rest of the day. 

So kids, the moral of the story is, do your homework at home the night before it's due, and not the morning it's due.  And if you happen to work in a fish department, please don't leave the supermarket without first checking to see that no other creatures, living or dead, are leaving along with you!