My deceased loved ones

My beautiful mom, after Easter dinner in 2003

November 22, 2014
Day 206

I'm not sure why, but I've been thinking a lot lately about my loved ones who have gone on to Heaven.  They've visited me in memories and photos alike, and I've called on them to guide me in my Shamanism classes as well.

I know SO MANY people who have crossed over now, so I don't think of all of them all the time, but the ones who pop up most often are my mom and dad, my maternal grandmother, my sister Esther, my friend Sal, and the monks I knew and lived with--Joseph, Francis, Larry, and Richard.  There are more, but I recall these souls frequently.

There's no debate in your mind at this point, I hope, about my absolute belief in a beautiful eternity after our bodies die here, but I fully understand and respect your head space and non-beliefs if Heaven's just not on your radar.  When I first met Andy, he called himself an atheist, and I helped him find the word agnostic instead: someone who just doesn't know, instead of someone with an absolute belief in no God.  Over time though, Andy has listened quietly to my beliefs and reasons, and we've talked a lot about his thinking too.  Together, we've gotten much closer to a shared understanding of God and Heaven, even if we still disagree in some ways.

For me though, my loved ones are safe and sound in a reality that I cannot even hope to understand yet in this life.  Beyond my father's soul's visit to me after he died, I have had many other profound senses of knowing when the spirit is present in a room.  Most recently at Andy's uncle's house the day of his funeral, I felt myself bump into a person who I could not see. 

I'm no preacher and have no money or career invested in trying to sell you all anything, and I also hope you recognize I'm a mostly sane, smart man with a genuine willingness to talk about all possibilities and beliefs.  I try to open myself up to other faiths as much as I do other non-faiths, the agnostic and even atheistic approaches to life, the universe, and everything.  It is my firm belief, in fact, that our beliefs mean nothing, as long as we live our lives pursuing love at the highest level.  We will fail, sometimes in a magnificent way, but the pursuit of perfect love must always be there.  We must try.  That's my belief at least.

So today I honor my loved ones who have died by publicly recognizing their many visits to my thoughts and feelings.  I thank them--I thank you, kind spirits, for helping me to see better.  My vision is still cloudy, and I understand if it never clears up while I inhabit this body, but I'm trying.  I'm trying and I'm hoping all the time to see and believe better, more clearly.  In the mean time, I am grateful for your visits and your help, and I look forward to reuniting with you all again one day.

For all those who do not believe, either because they've had enough religious folks try to force something on them, sell them something, or just judge them in horrible ways, I pray you gently help them too.  Help them to see spirit outside of religion and inside their kitchens.  Help them to see and believe as I know you've helped me.  But even if this cannot happen for them either, I pray we all respect and love each other anyway, whether we believe in this or that or we do not.  Life's too short, as I like to say, and in this life, I'd just like to find more love whenever possible.  I think that's a great start for us all.