So I was leaving the parkway up the ramp of my exit the other day. When I came to the top of the hill, I quickly found myself stuck behind a driver who understood the yield sign to mean she should stop completely and just stay there forever and ever until the universe ended.
(I have a big problem with patience, in case you didn't already know.) So I told myself to just wait as long as I could before freaking out on her. As more and more cars arrived behind me, and traffic was close to being held up on the parkway below us, I realized another solution was at hand. Instead of deputizing myself the leader of a long line of annoyed drivers, I would simply let one of the others be in charge. Someone else will honk, I told myself, if I just wait this out now patiently. And sure enough, after about thirty New York seconds of this utter insanity, someone behind me honked.
Whew! The woman began edging forward into the extra long merging lane available to her. She didn't use it though, just decided she had to cross two lanes of traffic right there instead of merging gradually, but at least she moved.
And I...well, I didn't have to honk. I just had to wait until someone else did. All I had to do in the situation was sit there and wait until someone honked and told her she was being silly, and encouraged her with a noise made from their car to move her motor vehicle forward, so the rest of us could get on with our lives. That's all. I did nothing, and the story of our lives continued on happily just a few moments later.
But of course none of this is my real point. That woman and her inability to understand the rules of driving aren't why I told you this little story at all.
My real point is this: you don't always have to be the person to change the world. You don't always have to be the one to push people to be their better selves. You don't always have to be the one who honks first.
Those who know me well know I'm giving myself advice here, not just my readers, but it's really great advice. We need to chill out more, to "let people live in their own world" as my partner Andy tells me. If a person is in danger, or you're the only person to help them, then by all means do so. Likewise, if you're in a unique position to correct someone with love and care, and better that person's world, go for it! But the point is, you don't always have to be "that guy" or "that woman".
So let it go. Be patient. Be kind. And try letting someone else honk first.
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