Jury Duty

October 19, 2014
Day 172

There are only a few things I dread in this life with an unnatural fear, combined of course with a very natural hatred.  Public speaking and the occasional dentist appointments probably tie for second, but right up there in first place is having to serve jury duty.

I've never actually been on a jury.  The closest I ever got was the courtroom, but that was close enough.  Just being inside the same four walls as my fellow jurors who were picked was enough to make me feel just a lit bit mentally ill inside.  I imagine it's the same feeling you'd get if you had to watch your fellow inmates getting whipped and beaten in a public square.

I'm hoping they don't have some record on me that says I've never been picked, a list that clarifies how close I've come in the past.  I imagine a lawyer waving a big old manila folder in my face, with a huge, toothy grin as he says, "We've got you now, you son of a bitch!"

As much as people assure me it's nothing like this, that it's actually quite simple and straightforward, I seem to be locked in my unnatural fear-state anyway.  Doing my civic duty?  Eh.  Doesn't make me feel any better.  Can't I just write out a check for a thousand bucks and call it even?  Two thousand?  Okay, fine... five?  Please just let me go?  I promise not to break any laws if you'll just give me my cell phone back!

Still, I have this dread, and I think it's only exacerbated by the fact that Jury Duty this time is in Brooklyn. Yep, Brooklyn!  Why I have to show up to a place so far away from home to possibly judge my so-called peers, I'll never know.  These things work without reason sometimes.

All I know is, this sucks!  And I don't care how many blog reflections I get out of it, because I'd rather just get out of the civic duty itself.  UGH! 

Okay, okay, how about six thousand dollars?  Seven?  Eight?  I just want to ball myself up and start crying.  Hmm.  That might work.