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October 16, 2014
Day 169
My partner Andy's family is much smaller than mine, so his aunts and uncles and their children are all part of what I'd call the immediate family in his life. Events of any size, or gatherings here in New York or North Carolina, include different people, but the core group is always the same.
Uncle Fai was one of the chieftains of this inner circle, if not the head. He wasn't the eldest, but his home became the focal point of many parties over the years, and he and his wife Lydia always welcomed many people for every event. Family, extended family, neighbors who were always treated like family: all were welcome, and all were his family! So losing Fai now is a heavy blow for many, many people. Things will certainly never be the same again.
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| Fai in Tranquility Intermediate School in Trinidad, front row, fifth from right. 1950s. |
Today, we will have wakes for Fai, periods in the afternoon and evening for Fai's friends and family, and loved ones of his friends and family to come and mourn together.
Our faith tells us his suffering is over, and his pain is no more, but our hearts ache with our own suffering now. Our brother has left us, and won't be there at the next family gathering. Thanksgiving and Christmas will feel that much emptier without him, and his sisters Lynette and Molly, his wife Lydia, sons Ferdi and Joe, and grandson Channing will all have to slowly adjust to a new world without him.
Today at the wakes, and tomorrow at the funeral, our tears will fall quickly and often. We'll be mourning the man who welcomed us all as his own, a man we will forever call our friend, but more than just that, he was also our father and our brother...our family.
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