My shoplifting confession

August 6, 2014
Day 98

I've never written publicly about this before, and though it happened a long, long time ago when I was still a kid, I'd rather not divulge the exact details, but there was a time when I was young that I shoplifted a few small items.

I'm not proud of this fact, and the only reason I'm mentioning it here is because I'm in this year-long process of reflecting of my life leading up to my 40th birthday.

The items were small and easily grabbed: baseball card packs and small food items.  And I had an affiliation with the store, so it was very easy for me to take a couple of things without getting caught.  Knowing this, I suppose, was part of the thrill.  I would never dare do this as an adult, but I guess from my experience many years ago, I at least now understand why people shoplift (apart from those who are in desperate need). 

Grabbing something in an area where you know no camera can see you, and finding a place for it in your coat or pants pocket, and then walking out of the store casually, as if you've done nothing wrong?  It gave me a rush, of sorts.  It made me feel powerful, and I guess more than just a little clever too, like I could pull one over on a large number of people.

Now I'm in no way saying any of this to brag or be proud of my actions.  Shoplifting is wrong, and it's just plain stupid, too.  You could go to prison for it easily, and from what I understand from HBO and Showtime, a hell of a lot worse could befall you in jail.  But even if there was no retribution or criminal case against you, you still shouldn't do it because it's wrong.  It's stealing.  It's not your possession to take.  And have I mentioned...it's wrong?

I'm deeply sorry for these sins of my past, and though sharing this reflection does make me feel a little better, I'll never stop carrying this guilty fact around with me through life.