Getting Better All The Time

May 2, 2014.

Every once in a while, I just feel very, very happy with my life.  It isn't that I'm not happy most of the time anyway, but sometimes you just look around at your house, or think about life, and just feel like it's going pretty well.  Very often when this moment appears, I start thinking about or singing the tune, "I have to admit it's getting better, it's getting better all the time".  And the coolest part about this phrase is the timing inferred.  Things have gotten better from where they used to be, and things are always getting better all the time. 

Life, for me, has always been about moving forward.  Of course we all have setbacks, but when I look around at my worst traits and behaviors, my most challenging pursuits and endeavors as a human being?  I'm just so pleased at how far I've come, how much I've learned, how much I continue to change.  I want to always keep becoming a better person, a stronger soul.  It isn't about finding perfection, but it is about believing in a closer pursuit of perfection.  Complacency is just the worst possible lie we accept for ourselves.  It's the weakest part of us that says, "This is just how it's always going to be, and that'll just have to be fine with me."  No, I don't mean refusing reality.  If you have a personal struggle or disability, there's a very good chance you will always have this.  I mean instead a complacency of all the things we can change.

Every week as I'm about to step on the scale, I pray, "God, please give me the serenity and peace to accept the things I cannot change, the courage, the strength, and your help to change the things I can change, and most importantly, the wisdom to know the difference."  It helps me focus on truth and reality, hope and desire all at the same time.  I may not have lost any weight since the week before, so I brace myself for that reality, while still reminding myself I have the power to change my body's shape moving forward.

And weight is just one of many struggles I've had, as we all do in life.  In the last two years, I have made it my goal to get fit and stay fit, and I've done an incredible job so far!  But my weight-loss goals are just a small part of my big-picture "plan".  For me, life really is about getting better all the time, and that means knowing how you need to get better.  The 12 steps talk about first admitting you have a problem, and we seem to be living in a culture that tells us, "You're fine as you are, don't worry, there are no problems".  And I try my best to do the opposite.  I hear people when they make fun of me for this or that personality trait, and I absorb it.  I tell myself this is something people don't like about me, and maybe that's something I need to change. 

My friend John once told me I was looking at my watch too often, so I stopped doing it.  Someone told me I walked with a hunch, so I try my best to keep my chin up, and stand upright.  Andy tells me not to touch my face too much, and I try not to.  Friends have said I correct people publicly too much, so I have tried very hard to do this much more in private.  Drink more water--I drink more water.  Listen more to another person before interjecting a response--I listen more.  The list goes on and on.  I know I cannot improve as a human being unless I listen to the comments and criticisms from those around me. 

Eddie Murphy once said, "I spent my 30s fixing everything I broke in my 20s."  I'm 39 now, and though I don't think I had a hundred million things to fix in my 30s that I broke in my 20s, I have used this quote to inspire me throughout my 30s.  Likewise, a friend once told me back in my early 20s, "Once you go over the deuce [200 pounds], you never go back.  I finally proved him wrong a year or so ago, after climbing up to about 240 pounds.  Once I got back to 199, which is where I am right now, I promised myself it'd never happen again.  I have gone over 200 since and come back again recently, but what matters is, I took the challenges in my life and worked with them.  I didn't just accept them as the status quo. 

Life is about change and growth.  We cannot hope to discover more amazing heights if we never climb the ladder.  It's hard.  Life is hard!  And some things in our lives will just never change.  But for everything else, there's room for growth.  And if you asked me today how I'm doing, I'd tell you quite honestly, "I have to admit it's getting better, it's getting better all the time".