Today is Mother's Day, and in the world we live in, that means most of my friends and family are posting on Facebook about their mothers, whether living or deceased. It's not the only time all year we do this, but it has become a wonderful custom.
Overwhelmingly, people talk about how their mom is the greatest, and though they don't do this to compete with everyone else, it's certainly a testament to the kind of power all moms have. Without seeking honor or attention, mothers everywhere have an innate ability to do so much more than we can even imagine. They build us from day one, and they are constantly shaping us with every hug, kiss, scolding finger-wag, and tear-filled speech they impart.
I can't tell you everything my mom did to earn my esteem, but her unconditional love for me was just so huge, it taught me about what love was. Beyond her love for me, it was her love for so many others that taught me about her capabilities for giving love, and in turn my capabilities for giving love. Through her pain and tears when someone showed her only rudeness or anger, she showed me what it was like to be treated badly, and taught me how not to respond. You see, whenever someone was awful to my mother, she got very upset, and didn't understand how this person or these people could be so mean. She didn't tell me they were evil people, or do something awful in retribution. She just cried. And she felt the sadness of the moment. She could have said hurtful words, or done horrible deeds, but instead, she poured her heart out in sadness.
My mother's love was beyond measure. It was forever honorable and true, and constantly open for all. She doubted herself often, but only in her efforts to get closer with people. And as a teen in the 1950s, my mom grew up in a world where who she was allowed to be was constantly changing and improving. She gave birth to seven children, and helped raise four more beyond that. She lost her first husband when she was just 29 years old. Nine months' pregnant with her fifth child at the funeral, my mother's oldest was only 5 years old. I can't even imagine what that must have been like, can you?
Then she married a drunk, my dad, even though he swore he had his alcohol under control. A widow with four young children himself, his life was very rough too (...but that's another story). So with her own five kids, and now four more, and a husband who got drunk constantly and would sometimes yell at her kids, my mom had her hands full. They soon had me and then my sister, making 11 in all. And my dad kept drinking daily, and my mom kept taking care of us all as best she could.
None of this completely defines who she was, or how she was, or helps me know how exactly my mother ticked. It does, however, provide perspective on her life based on how sweet and loving she was. She could have become a cold, hard woman. She could have become an alcoholic herself, or beat us, or been awful in many other ways. Instead, her emotions pooled and puddled. She cried when she reflected on lost relationships, and she cried and showed profound sadness and confusion whenever anyone treated her badly.
It's a truth in my own life I recognize all too well. People sometimes come at me as if I've purposely tried to hurt them in some way, instead of trusting my intent as good. I intend goodness and love, so when I mess up, which we all do, I apologize, and pray people see I'm someone who's always trying his best. This I absolutely got from my mom. She always meant well, and always loved and loved as much as she could.
She's an angel now, purified in the light, and I hope she's happy with how I'm doing. I look forward to exchanging notes with her one day about the life I lived. I'm confident she'll have plenty of constructive criticism, along with the motherly love! Who I am today is a great result of all my mother taught me...through her words, through her deeds, and even through her tears. Her pains and her joys were all like a major motion picture playing out before me, a training video for the life I was building for myself. And I'm forever grateful to her for the many, many lessons she taught me. Happy Mother's Day in Heaven, Mom. Thank you for everything you gave me and taught me, and thank you for being the angel I know you still are!
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