The Changing MUSTs of Life

May 3, 2014.

There are a few things about age 39 I'd like to advise my younger self of, not so much as a warning, but more as just a head's up for the journey.  First of all, that old joke about hair growing out of your ears is all too real.  In fact, the hair grows out of your forehead more too, and in weird places on your arms, and, well, you get the picture.  To me it's all just funny, especially when some little wisp of a hair is there one day when I promise you it wasn't there the day before!  It's really no big deal, although I'd argue heartburn definitely is.

The first time I ever really experienced heartburn was somewhere in my mid-30s.  I'm guessing it varies for people, and some experience it much earlier, but for me, it had just never really happened, so it scared the hell out of me when it did.  Thankfully, all you kids out there, there's this miracle product called TUMS.  You chew two or three tablets and bam!  The heartburn goes away.  Some people keep the TUMS nearby, because they know they'll have heartburn, so rather than avoid the bad foods, they just pop the TUMS in before or right after their meal.  Makes sense. 

Beyond heartburn and weird hairs showing up is the all too inevitable non-red hair.  Eek!  Yes, I must address this to be completely honest, so here we go...

I'm a redhead, and as a redhead, my hair is red.  Still with me here?  Okay, good. 

So as a redhead, the hair on my body should be red.  It will eventually turn white, I've been told, as redheads tend to have white hair as they age, which is fine with me!  It's all still red, thank God, but I suspect things may change in the next decade.  Getting older is a gift better than the alternative, and if my hair will change a color other than the red I've come to love, white sounds better to me than gray.  I still have a great head of hair, much more than a lot of guys younger than me, and my hairline, though slightly receded, really does betray my age, and has helped me "pass" for much younger.  You can disagree of course, but I'm writing this, so I get to make the pronouncements at the moment.

The MUSTs of my life have changed considerably as I've gotten older.  I no longer MUST see Saturday Night Live.  I no longer MUST see a movie when it first comes out, and very often not even while it's still in the theater!  I no longer MUST have plans on the weekend.  (In fact, I quietly celebrate those weekends that are completely free of plans!)  I no longer MUST see friends as often as I used to, and this is in great part to the fact that I already live with my best friend and partner, Andy (who I MUST see as often as possible).  And I no longer MUST go to the casinos as often as I used to.  I still love going, but the MUST factor has finally dissipated.  Whew!

But at the same time, I have new MUSTs in my life these days.  I MUST keep up with Facebook.  I MUST go to the gym a few times each week.  When I have to miss a day, I worry my body will suddenly blow up again.  I MUST do laundry on Friday night or early on Saturday, because I just hate doing it on Sunday!  I MUST write as often as I can.  It's become a need, a push, a love in my life, and I hope this drive never ceases.  And I MUST get to bed on time, and give myself 8 hours or more of sleep as often as possible.

I don't know if these are all related to age 39, as I've only just arrived here, but they are a good summary of what I've recently experienced in the past few years. 

I thought at one point I'd tell you I no longer need SMUT in my life, and provide a not-so-clever wordplay on the transition from SMUT to TUMS, but I don't see my love of smut going away anytime soon.  For those who are shocked (or even mock shocked) by this truth, let me be clear.  YES, you can embrace spirituality AND sexuality in your life at the same time.  God's gifts are many!

As I've gotten older, I've been absolutely tickled to realize I am in fact aging very well.  I attribute this to my health regimen of the past few years, my skincare, my gentle eye rinsing in the morning (lovingly de-gook-ing), and my overall joy in life.  Optimism and smiles will always keep you looking younger, as they're a facelift for your body and your soul! 

My MUSTs have changed since my teens and twenties, and I'm fine with that.  I like not feeling judged for missing SNL or the latest movies, and even when I do feel judged, I don't take it to heart anymore.  I fill my life with the people and things that matter most to me and make me happy.  And my happiness will always be on my MUST list!