2014: Year in Review

December 30, 2014
Day 244

In 2014, I made this public resolution on January 1st: "I will believe in myself more.  I will trust in the God-given spirit within me, and I will overcome fears and challenges, obstacles and roadblocks.  I will take leaps of faith into the unknown, and find myself growing more than I ever have before.  In 2014, I will transcend, I will dream, I will be.  And I hope you'll be there with me, to journey into the realm of possibility and imagination, where the highest mountains we've ever climbed will be conquered together!"

On January 9th, in the wee hours of the morning, I asked Andy to bring me to the hospital.  There was no evidence it was anything other than bad heartburn, but it scared me nonetheless, and made for a sour start to the new year.

On March 11th, I published my second book, The Papal Visitor, sequel to Book 1: The Uniter.

On April 23rd, I began writing my third book, the last book of the Heaven, Hell, and the Planet In Between series.

On May 1st, I turned 39 and began writing this daily blog.  Today is the 244th consecutive day I've published an entry here.  To date, my blog entries have gotten over 7,000 views.  My most popular blog entry was on November 23rd, called My Buddhist Calling, which has received 131 page views.  My least popular entry was on June 1st, called June's Many Meanings, which got only 2.  (My views aren't counted.)

On June 14th, Andy and I attended the Long Island Pride Parade, and when a small band of sick men with signs walked past, I shouted, "God loves everyone!"  The confrontation that followed was tense and scary, but I was happy to have said my peace in response to their hate, and encouraged them to just get lost and leave everyone alone before I called the police (who were already around the area to protect us).

On June 29th, Andy and I marched in the New York City Pride Parade.  It was Andy's first time marching and my second, and we both had a wonderful time!

From July 18th to July 23rd, Andy and I vacationed in beautiful Colorado.  We stayed with our great friends Isobel and Sam for half the time, and at a hotel in the Rockies the other half.

On July 20th, we made a special trip up to Laramie, Wyoming.  Why such a long drive out of the way for a little town in Wyoming?  Because Laramie is the place a 21-year-old gay man was attacked and left for dead when I was 22 and still coming out of the closet.  Matthew Shepard's story shook me then and always has, and he's become an important character in my book series about heaven.  You can read about our trip to Laramie on my blog entry here.

On August 11th, I learned Robin Williams had committed suicide.  Celebrities we've never met die all the time, and we feel the sadness of it for moments or maybe even hours.  His death shook so many of us for weeks.  I wrote this about Robin: "The smoke of a burned-out candle is not the candle. Tonight, I'm so sad to hear Robin Williams has left us. None of us can understand why people get to the point of taking their own lives, but for those of us who have been directly impacted by suicide, we are all too aware of the unending impact it makes on us. That said, again, the smoke of a burned-out candle is NOT the candle. The entirety of light that still is Robin will shine on forever. We cry for the smoke of this moment, but we know his light shines on."

On August 13th, we found out Andy's Uncle Fai had been rushed to the hospital with a serious and possibly fatal stomach condition. 

From August 23rd to September 1st, I enjoyed a 10-day trip to Ludlow, Vermont, my home away from home.

On October 1st, I was a guest speaker at two classes at Nassau Community College, thanks to the generous invitation from my friend Bill, who teaches there.

On October 10th, my Aunt Nancy died.

On October 12th, Andy's Uncle Fai died.

From October 20th through October 28th, I served on a federal jury in Brooklyn.  Talk about a life experience!  Wow!  Check out my blog during those days to read some of my reflections.

From November 1st to November 30th, I participated in NaNoWriMo, which stands for National Novel Writing Month.  In the month of November, each participant is asked to write 50,000 words of a new novel.  I didn't think it was possible at first, but by month's end, I'd written 60,112 words.

From November 15th to November 17th, Andy and I visited our friends Cherri, Maria, Mark, and Robert in Columbia, Maryland, and made a special visit to Andy's Great Uncle Nilo as well.  Nilo is a celebrated artist whose work still graces the halls of the Pentagon, as well as air force bases worldwide.  We purchased some of his paintings, and if you're at all interested in doing so too, I encourage you to check out his work available for sale on his website.

On December 3rd, I received a new computer via FedEx, my first new computer since 2005.

These are not my only major moments of 2014, but they are the lion's share of them.  Writing these out has been a wonderful exercise for me, and very helpful as I look ahead to resolutions for 2015.

Colorado, Day 3: Trip to Laramie, WY

July 20, 2014
          Day 81

It was always the plan.

Laramie, Wyoming was close enough by car to the Boulder, Colorado area, so I wanted to make a kind of pilgrimage there, to honor Matthew Shepard's spirit by sending our warm wishes out into the wind.

There was no need to go to the exact place those guys took Matthew and left him for dead.  There was no need to go down the street that would take us to the other street and the land where he was found.  A brief search on Google and then Google Earth showed me the spot, and just seeing it on my computer screen was enough.  So today would just be about driving through town, understanding the area a bit, and simply seeing the place he was found...from a distance.

The way we die doesn't matter.  None of us would want our loved ones to focus on our method of death or the place we happened to give up our spirit.  Yet this place means something to so many of us.  It's a place we think of when we think of Matthew.  And Matthew is a boy we think of when we think of the uphill climb we're all still on.

So how is the place?  How is Laramie?  The answer might surprise you.

Laramie is, for lack of a better word, average.  It's just a quiet little town surrounded by many, many, many miles of quieter fields and hills.  And the people we met in Laramie were likewise...average.  That is to say, they are just like you and me.  They were friendly and kind, warm and gracious.  They didn't kill Matthew Shepard.  They didn't even want him hurt.  They just live there, and they just grimace like the rest of us when the issue is raised.  (We didn't bring it up, but you can tell these people would not be happy to have their quiet little Wyoming town remembered for anything other than the beauty of the area, the stillness of the land, and the simple, happy life they all live.)

As we left Laramie, Andy put it best.  We were thinking about the event that night that ultimately took Matthew Shepard's life, and thinking about what we'd just experienced in the town of Laramie (a brief drive through town, and a short lunch).  As we pulled onto the highway, Andy said, "These aren't bad people at all here; they're just like us.  They've got all the same stores we do too."  His point was simple and perfect.  We're all the same anywhere you go on this earth.  There are people who do bad things, and there are people who do good things.

So I guess my point is, what have you heard about the town of Laramie before or since Matthew Shepard's murder there?  I'm thinking, like me, you'd answer nothing at all.  Laramie is just a little town where on one night many years ago, a horrible thing happened at the hands of two very disturbed young men.  But on every day since then (and it's already almost 16 years now), life has gone on the same, and nothing horrible has made the news.

Laramie doesn't deserve to be branded a place of hate.  It's simply a place where hate once happened.  And because our planet is so vast and filled with so many kinds of people, it's helpful to remember that just as hate will show up here and there, goodness will prevail much more often.

Matthew was taken from us through a bad act 16 years ago, but Matthew's spirit reminds us of so much more good found every day since...in his name, because of his life, and through his never-ending legacy.

The smoke of a burnt-out candle is not the candle, and the bright light of Matt's life is clearly shining on...forever.

Planning a vacation

Breathtaking photo from Colorado (found online).  Click for the bigger image,
but remember to click the X in the top right to go back to the blog.

July 17, 2014
          Day 78

So this is it!  Tomorrow, Andy and I start a small vacation to Colorado and Wyoming.  I say small because we only have 5 days and 5 nights, and our vacations the last few years have tended to run closer to twice that.  I know, I've got no right to even slightly complain!

But because it's a relatively short trip for us, we're going to try our very best to just soak it all in, to simply drive around a lot, and appreciate nature and the beautiful views everywhere we go. 

July 18: Fly to Denver Airport, head over to the Boulder area to spend time with friends
July 19: Boulder area, time with friends
July 20: Wyoming + head down to hotel in Black Hawk, CO
July 21: Staying in Black Hawk, exploring area
July 22: Staying in Black Hawk, exploring area
July 23: Leave Black Hawk, head to airport, fly home to New York

Why Wyoming?  I wrote about it on this Website.

I'll be writing a vacation reflection each day now while we're there, so for those following this journey o' mine live as it happens, please bear with me through any delays in my postings this coming week!  (And for those reading it later on, well, you can already tell me how my vacation went.  Did I like it?  Did I take a lot of nice photographs?  Let me know!)

Before I go on any type of vacation now the past few years, I start a packing list weeks in advance.  This vacation, the list has been in the form of a memo on my phone.  Right now it reads like this: Netbook, cord, battery, extra phone battery, phone charger, car phone charger, GPS, cameras and memory cards, flash drive, kindle, pens, crossword book, bathing suit, casino card stretchy band, chewing gum, camera batteries, some warm clothing, hat and gloves, sunblock.

I used to write things like underwear, socks, shirts, shorts, and sneakers on lists like this, but I've learned over time that all of those things are never forgotten.  It's more the other stuff on my current list that get left behind, and--  Oh!  Just added glasses, sunglasses, and cleaner wipes to the list too!  The chewing gum is for take off and landing; it helps my ears.  The warm clothing, hat, and gloves are for our higher-elevation jaunts.  And the casino card stretchy band is because we're staying at a casino resort for 3 of the 5 nights.  Colorado or not, if there are slot machines nearby, I will be playing them (a little). 

So yeah, that's my planning progress so far, before the madness of packing later today.  I think I've got almost everything squared away now!  Just tell me one thing, people reading this in the future, did I love Colorado and Wyoming?  Did I appreciate every moment of my vacation, and not just stand around taking pictures?  I sure hope so!  Please let me know if at all possible, but in the mean time, my Kindle is charging right now, my blog for today is now finished, and my mind has already converted itself to Mountain Time!